Self-confidence comes from the respect and love for oneself. It is rooted in trusting yourself and feeling secure about your abilities. Self-confidence has proven to create a multitude of benefits in one’s life. Yet, it is so hard to cultivate, especially in the fast-paced society we live in, continuously aiming for the next best thing.
While there is certainly room for improvement and building up on yourself, having a level of self-confidence will give you the extra boost of energy, happiness, and motivation to take on more tasks and make mistakes.
How Fear Makes Us Grow
The more we stay in our comfort zones, the less prepared when we step out of it. You live without knowing your ability to grow and sabotage yourself by nurturing new skills and strengths. However, the more you step out of your comfort zone, even without confidence, the less fearful you will feel outside your comfort zone. In those moments, courage, the “more noble attribute than confidence,” takes over the fear.
Fear is an uncomfortable feeling, but you can also be thankful for it. It can become a signpost, a tool to understand yourself better. By challenging the fear, the uncomfortableness will lessen and lessen. Although, it will never fully go away. There is always a newfound fear in life, and it cannot be challenged once, or twice, or thrice. Challenge the fear over and over and over until the fear is replaced with confidence. Like ballet, you cannot master it in your first class.
What Improves?
Greater motivation to keep going: Have you felt that joyous feeling of being good at something? I certainly am more willing to continue an activity that I am somewhat good at, rather than an activity I am terrible at. Confidence in your abilities may motivate you to keep trying. Rather than worrying about the mistakes and embarrassment, be your own cheerleader.
Become more resilient: As I wrote before, increased self-confidence correlates with decreased fear. As you become more comfortable with failing, you become mentally stronger. You will be able to accept the failures and pick yourself up from them, knowing they are a normal part of the process.
Improved relationships, of all kinds: The strange thing about self-confidence is, the more you have it, the less bogged down you are about yourself. Instead of stressing about how others perceive you and/or what they think of you, you will be able to focus on the relationship and the other person. Self-confidence can give you the emotional stability to love another person or lend a supportive shoulder to a grieving friend.
Ways to Increase Sef-Confidence
Again, self-confidence does not magically appear after one day of work. It may take months or years of working on yourself, but you will get there. To start it off, here are some actions one can do to increase their confidence.
Change your posture: Rolled shoulders and hunched back. From the moment you see it, that position automatically says “meek,” “tired,” or “shy.” The same emotions can subconsciously be felt by the doer. Improving posture not only changes one self-confidence but also changes the message sent to one’s brain. Like how smiling reinforces happiness, good posture can be an instantaneous boost of self-confidence.
Exercise, exercise, exercise: It may be unusual, but exercise releases endorphins which creates a pleasurable state of mind. It can help with seeing yourself in a better light. Additionally, moderate exercise can improve your physical well-being.
Imagine confidence: This is a brain exercise. First, close your eyes and bring yourself to a relaxed state. Imagine yourself doing something stressful, something scary, but with all the confidence you wish you had. Let this feeling of confidence and ease sink into your whole body.
Clarify goals in a manageable manner: While going easy on yourself is also important, it can be beneficial to give your journey a little bit of structure and guidelines. Whether you use SMART goals or another type of goal-keeping strategy, create an outline of your self-confidence journey. This way, the goals may seem more attainable and less daunting.
Ask others for help and help others: This can be a fear for some of us; I completely agree. However, this can also be a form of challenging fear and increasing self-confidence. Additionally, helping others can evoke a sense of belonging and pride often associated with self-confidence.
Conclusion
It is not easy to work on yourself. My mind often gets consumed by my loud, anxious thoughts about not being good enough, being beneath others. And while there is room for a self-improvement mindset, it is no excuse to degrade yourself.
Self-confidence is not a singular, stand-alone idea. With self-confidence comes a better understanding of self, better relationships with others, less fear, more emotional strength, and more. Make self-confidence your superpower. Take on the stressful activities and embarrassing events you’ve avoided. I guarantee you, you won’t regret it.
Writer: Isara Moriya
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Incredible write up full of lessons to learn.
Thank you Isara